0 comments Friday, June 29, 2007

is curl up in my bed and sleep

i was terrible in getting up all mornings this week, which resulted in me being late most of the time - gah

my mom always loved sending me forwarded emails. this was included in the last one she sent:


it says (since text is small): when we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices, go back to sleep and dreram, or wake up and chase those dreams. choice is yours.

i know i'd much rather be awake and chase my dreams, but why does sleep have to be so damn heavenly..

0 comments Thursday, June 28, 2007

i just received this as a forwarded email from my officemate.

i'm not sure if its real though. and don't really care since i don't watch the current season of pbb, just thought it would be interesting to share

~~~


I have worked for abs-cbn for almost 4 years now, since i finished my MA on mass com - broadcast communication in 2003. as part of production on news and current affairs, my work has been mostly rewarding, with good benefits despite the low base pay (i’m including this part so you would understand why i accepted the offer to be transferred to conceptualization of some reality shows particularly the current one, PBB.) because of the sensitivity of my status (i am still working there) i cannot divulge my name, gender and current position in ABS CBN. still, i would like to inform those who are interested (who, most probably, are now wondering why Wendy Valdez is still inside the house and not evicted yet, as most must have assumed.)

When i was asked if i wanted to be part of the conceptualization of the current and upcoming reality shows that ABS CBN would be showing (with higher compensation, obviously), i accepted the offer. how bad can it get, i said, since most of these shows run on public voting and my job would mostly include thinking of the “challenges” that Kuya instructs the housemates to do.

Apparently, conceptualization incorporates more than that. as i have known after the pre-screening of the auditioners, as early as the application process, we have to note who we think will “attract the public most” and who we think will “make the ratings go off the roof.” after the initial screening, we had to choose the top 100 of the batch, and even though some did not “theoretically pass” the audition (some weren’t able to complete the documents needed), since they have mass appeal, they made it to the first cut, and some were even included in the finalists that entered the BB house.
As you all know, the eviction process is supposed to be based on the votes that the “nominated housemates” - the housemate with the lowest vote will be evicted. i dont know about the previous editions of the PBB (since i only worked under this series this season), but what surprised us the most was when we were informed that the voting only affects the decision minimally - that the voting actually shows who the public wants to see again the following day - but that was it. the truth is, there are so-called “talent auditors.” these people are the ones who really put the big decision as to who will be evicted, and who will stay. of course, this never became obvious since i cannot deny the fact that we receive millions of votes during eviction night. that is, until wendy was evicted, and then later returned to join the housemates who are legitimately still in the contest. and the reason is this: the wendy-bruce loveteam is working. have you ever noticed why most of the episodes are focused on the wendy-bruce loveteam? it is because ratings are really high, meaning that people want to see how their relationship develops.

I have never received this much question about my work before. my friends want to know how someone who was already evicted be suddenly returned to the house. actually, that is one of the “twists” that are really planned to be included in the show. but there are actually 3 evicted housemates that were vying to be returned to the house, and wendy was one of them. we were asked who we think should be the one to return to the house, and zeke won. but after discussing that the wendy-bruce love team was too interesting to abruptly end, it was wendy who got the spot. aside from that, we were later informed by one of the production managers who was disappointed with the decision, wendy was “direk dyogi’s pet.”

I told this story to some of my friends, and they were surprised to know the truth, particularly because some of them were voting for their favorite contestant. i told them only one thing - that they are just wasting their money in voting. as i have personally seen, the path of the contest is already drawn, and the voting only affects the decision minimally, as i have said. this only tells us who the public wants to see again inside the house. the eviction of nel tonight is the classic example. nel got the 2nd lowest number of votes, wendy got the lowest. but the administrators think that perhaps the wendy-bruce loveteam is still up, so we had to give it one last shot. if the ratings go down, or if on tuesday (the next eviction night), wendy still gets the lowest vote, she’s out of the contest.

I did not want to reveal all of these, partly because of my loyalty to the company that has given me so much over the years, but i personally think that it is unfair to make one suffer for another’s gain. since i have done background checks on the housemates, i know for a fact that nel isn’t very well-off, and should have been given his chance fairly. i feel bad to know that i am included in a ploy to confuse and even fool people into believing that they control the outcome of the show. that is why i went ahead and did this post. i wanted people to know how PBB works.

If you really want to let the network know how disappointed you are with the outcome, make the ratings go down at least until tuesday. and do not waste your money in voting, or if you really want to and have the means to do so, vote for who you really think should be included in the big 4 - this way, hopefully, wendy will be out on tuesday for good.###

tsk tsk tsk, where is the morality in that, abscbn?”

~~~

hmm... malaki posibilidad diba.. i mean i'm sure marami na talaga may suspetsa na may something na ganitong nangyayari sa pbb or something diba. or is it just a smear campaign/anti-wendy act

0 comments Wednesday, June 27, 2007

i'm seriously bored to death here

although i have about a number of tasks to do, i just keep on finding things to do and reasons not to do them just yet. yeah, say hello to one of the things i'm actually good at - procrastinating.

there's an appliance madness sale at glorietta right now. it's been there for the past couple of days. i've been wanting to check it out because i'm pining for a bigger memory card for my camera (bigger = more pictures, duh). i just keep on finding things that i "need." i once read somewhere about this group of people who abstained from purchasing things/shopping for a year, although hygiene products are not included (thank god!). maybe i ought to try that - yeah, good luck with that.

1 comments Tuesday, June 26, 2007

So the mere fact that I'm back means I survived our Zamboanga Sibugay trip a couple of weeks ago. Paranoid over nothing huh? Nothing's much really changed except for the fact that there are a number of military checkpoints all over the area, as compared to none when I last went there. And the checkpoints are not like the ones in Manila where they just peer at you through the windows, this time, they ask that we open the windows and all compartments so they can shine flashlights in our faces and in the compartments and even in the feet area. They even ask the men na huwag sumandal so they can check if they have guns tucked in their waistbands. All this is due mainly to the Italian priest's kidnapping a couple of days before the said trip. This would all have been good if not for that nagging feeling that government troops and 'non-friendly' troops basically look the same, down to their weapons and uniforms, so we actually don't have an inkling whether those checkpoints are good or not.

~~~

So anyway, in other news, boyfriend and I are turning 3 this July. Whee.. It's been three years (and a couple of months counting the courtship period) since he overcame his ka-torpehan - with a lot of prodding from our friends and with a bit of help from good ol' San Miguel. Somehow, I still can't believe that it's been that long. We were friends a bit back in high school but haven't seen each other during the most part of college. Actually, I last saw him during freshman year in college and then the next was that night after graduation, and then we were inseparable since.

I am a romantic schmuck and all that but I just realized that we haven't really had our own 'theme' song. Haha, how corny and cheesy am I. But what we do have are a couple of songs that have become last song syndromes for both of us through the span of time that we've been together =D

1. The first song he actually sang to me way back in high school:

Before I Let You Go
Freestyle

I could still remember yesterday
We were so in love in a special way
And knowing that you love me makes me
Feel oh so right But now I feel lost
Don't know what to do
Each and everyday I think of you
Holding back the tears
I'm trying with all my might
Because you're gonna left me standing
All alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow on my own
But baby before I let you go I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do yeah
So before I let you go I want to say
I love you...hmmm...
I wish that it would be just
Like before
I know I could have given you so
Much more
Even though you know I'd given you all my love
I miss your smile; I miss your kiss
Each and everyday I reminisce Coz baby it's you that I'm always
Dreaming of
Because you're gonna left me standing
All alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow on My own
But baby before I let you go I want to sayI love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do yeah
So before I let you go, I want to say, yeah
Slaming the door is never easy
But I love you so
That's why I'll set you free, yeah
I know, someday, somehow,I'll find the way
To leave it all behind me
Guess it wasn't meant to be baby
Before I let you go, I want to say
I love you
I hope that you're listening
Coz it's true babe
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah
So before I let you go I want to say...
So before I let you go I want to say...

2. The first song he sang to me when we became a couple:

214
Rivermaya

Am i real?
Do the words i speak before you
Make you feel
That the love i have for you
Will see no ending?
Well, if you look into my eyes
Then you should know
That you have nothing here to doubt

Nothing to fear
And you can lay your questions down
'cause if you'll hold me
We can fade into the night
And you'll know
The world could die
And everything may lie
Still you shan't cry'cause time may pass
But longer than it'll lastI'll be by your side
Take my hand
And gently close your eyes
So you could understand
That there's no greater love tonight
Than what i've for you
Well, if you feel the same way for me
Then let go
So we can journey to a garden
No one knows
Life is short, my darling
So tell me that you love me
So we can fade into the night
And you'll know
The world could die
And everything may lie
Still you shan't cry'cause time may pass
But longer than it'll lastI'll be by your side
Forever by your sideI want you to know
The world could lie
And everything may die
Still you shan't cry'cause time may pass
And everything won't last
I'll be by your side
Forever by your side(2x)
So you won't cry

3. Just because I like the lyrics of this one:
Gemini
Sponge Cola

Come a little closer
Flicker in flight
We’ll have about an inch space
But I’m here I can breathe in
What you breathe out

Let me know if I’m doing this right
Let me know if my grip’s too tight
Let me know if I can stay all of my life
Let me know if dreams can come true
Let me know if this one’s yours too

‘Cause I see it
And I feel itRight here
And I feel you right here

The vacuous night
Steps aside to give meaning
To Gemini’s dreaming
The moon on it’s back
And the seemingly
Veiled room’s lit
By the same star

And I feel it right here
And I feel you right here

Forgive the cheesy post. Just remembered last night that we were turning three and thought of writing this down to remember them better. Hehe. Proof that I am hopeless after all

0 comments Friday, June 22, 2007

I’ve been away for a few days last week, sick for the next couple of days, and has had a writer’s block for as long as I can remember. It’s weird calling it writer’s block since I don’t even consider myself a writer, but I don’t know what else it is. I can’t draw for the life of me. I’m tone-deaf and can’t sing one decent tune. And I can’t even swing my hips to any music at all – that’s really eew once I think about it. Sad to say, being plain talent less is just sad, so I guess I just took to the one thing really easy to pretend that I’m good at, which is writing. Unlike drawing, singing or dancing, writing is the easiest way to go, it’s a bit relative compared to the former three. With writing, there’s no one to tell you that your drawing, your song or your dance, sucks. Well, there are some people who will tell you that, but then again, an essay or your written work is way easier to defend than again, the former three. Don’t ask me how that is, but it’s my excuse and the reason why I got to pretend to be a writer for that long. But if there is one thing that I am sure of, its how much I love the written word. I always get a high when writers – real ones at that, capture the essence of something that is otherwise ordinary. How these writers get to reel in their readers like me to hang on to their every word, feel every feeling they want to convey, and see even the most boring and mundane of things into something exciting and interesting. How they do all these and more is just beyond me.

For a while back, I’ve managed to convince myself that I am a writer. I even made it as my source of living. My works got the approval of clients, and even found its way into some publications. But I guess something happened along the way, and I kind of lost it. This is the first time I’ve admitted to this fact, it just feels time to finally come out and admit to it. I guess I’m still kind of hoping that I’ll get it back. I’m hoping that at some point in my life, I won’t be lazy enough to not write about everything that life throws at me. At this point though, I’m just tired enough having to deal with life and everything. So until then, we’ll see.

1 comments Wednesday, June 6, 2007

The only thing worthy of an update as of late is I've just came from a 3-day training workshop on Adobe InDesign held by Phil. Center for Creative Imaging (PCCI). Yep. Three days. Meaning I lost my precious weekend. Boohoo. On the bright side though, I got a certificate saying I'm trained in InDesign and a few pesos in kickback (assuming finance allows it) in place of it. But I'm still in dire need of a long, peaceful sleep right about now. And a few hours in front of the TV won't hurt as well. I'm getting hooked a bit on this digital creative imaging chuva. But not hooked enough to cough up over 8k ++ for another training in Photoshop. I did however fork over 100 pesos for a training CD. Let's see what I can come up with.

On a side note though, PCCI holds great training seminars and workshops on digital imaging software such as Photoshop, InDesign and Illustrator, and also on photography regularly. They're also an accredited Adobe training center, which also partly explains why the prices are on the steep side. But personally, I think it's worth it since you can learn a lot and also maximize the software. And it also beats getting frustrated about not beign able to do something because you don't know how to use the how many tools these kinds of programs have.